14/07/14 02:31
Day Footcall 23 in the Footcall house...
This was it, the big one; THE FINAL!
For the past five weeks we have been treated to the greatest World Cup I can remember and the best Footcall to go with it. It now all boiled down to this one last game, this would decided if Argentina were to put a third star above their badge or whether the Germans were going to add a fourth?
Earlier in the day we had the announcement that Rachel Rowland had won the Favourite Team Name Award (or the FooTNA for short) with her team name "Murder on Zidane's Floor" which won by a comfortable five votes ahead of David Hitch's "Game of Throw-ins". Rachel has very generously donated her prize money to the Angus Rowland FMN fund.
Then we prepared ourselves with the onset of the final. The atmosphere in and around The Maracana in Rio was more tasty than a packet of Spangles most of which was made up of Argentinians and Brazilians just wearing their neighbours' shirts! it was obvious that a genuine Messi shirt was hard to come by and I'm sure I saw one or two home made ones where somebody had creatively made use of a can of light blue Panda car paint and a picket fence. This reminded me of my first Arsenal kit, nothing matched and cos I wanted to play in goal, rather than buying me a proper green Pat Jennings shirt my Mum just sewed a big number one on the back. I wouldn't have minded if she hadn't have done it in black cotton, I looked a proper nana!
So let's go over to the studio to get the pundit's view (the easiest job in the world), Lineker introduced Hansen who was there for the last time as he so spectacularly got his prediction of Brazil to win the semi-final wrong he realised he's been taking the p*ss out of the BBC for all these years. So Alan who are you going for? Argentina, Gary. Probably a good thing this is your last gig then Al.
Meanwhile Alan number two is sitting alongside looking like he's just about to go to jury service, he's got the same suit on as Alan number one and Gary. Did they get a three for two at George at Asda? Well Al number two was thinking, "just get this show out of the way and I'll be the top Alan around here now, nobody will mess with me then!" Of course what he doesn't know is that Hansen has done a swapsie with TalkSport's Brazil so it looks like Mr Shearer might have to wait a little longer before he becomes top Al. Whilst I'm thinking of Paul Simon song puns the camera pans round to our final pundit...
Oh Rio (or should I say Oreo?) what the hell are you wearing? Adorned in a navy blue blazer (double-breasted I might add) and a bright orange tie, he looked like he had a job on EasyJet flight on his way home... "Your emergency exits are here, here and here!"
So let's get to the match. We were told straight off that Khedira was out of the side having picked up an injury in the warm up session only minutes before the match was about to start, what was he doing, trying to kick his height?
It kicked off well and both teams looked up for it, right from the start you could see both teams meant business and there was plenty of quality all over the park. The first chance went early on to the Argies as Higuain missed a gem of an opportunity when Kroos was headed back towards his own goal but the striker who found himself one on one with the keeper pulled his shot woefully wide not even troubling Manuel Neuer. Who was sponsoring Higuain's boots - Toblerone?
The bearded front man did find the goal soon after but it was ruled offside. It's always funny seeing just how long it takes for the scorer to notice the linesman's flag as he does a lap of the pitch in celebration. It didn't take long for Germany to craft an opening and Thomas Muller tested the Butterfingers of Romero but the keeper was up to the task. Both teams were cancelling each other out but it was far from a boring game and how Howedes didn't score from a headed corner was beyond just about everyone, he nutted it against the post and it shook the frame until the half time whistle went.
It was a competitive match and as we neared full time some Crunch tackles came in. Earlier in the game Kramer who was in for Khedira took a whump to the head and had to be subbed. A German substitution is like Brucie turning over an Ace in Play Your Cards Right, they always bring on a better player and this time it was Andre Schurrle. Meanwhile Schweinsteiger was going down like a set of Skittles time and again throughout the match and was really having to earn his half time Mars bar. The first half finished nil nil and all this match needed was a moment of magic.
When we talk about magic we always look towards one man, Lionel Messi. Well his chance came soon into the second half as he dazzled us once more with his tiny toes, sometimes he looks like he's riding on a Segway! He was in on goal but sadly for him and all of South America he stuck it wide. It looked like he was being kept out of the game just like in the semis. I know a lot of Footcallers in contention had Argentina to win including Stuart Acott and Matt Clark who were in the top two spots in the league table. Matt had texted me to say that the tension was becoming too hard to bear. I pointed out that if he wanted to turn over Titanic was on Channel 4, his reply was swift, "I don't know if I'll see more people going down on the pitch or in the film!" In the 88th minute Mario Götze was brought on for the all time World Cup goal scoring hero, Miroslav Klose, who realised he'd not set the video for the new series of Cash In The Attic.
The agony for said Footcallers was going to be prolonged another thirty minutes as full time came and it was still goalless. We put this down to class defending and I think we were just hoping a decisive moment of class in the attacking third would prevent this going to the inevitable penalties. Well we were put out of our misery as Schurrle crossed a sweet little ball for Super Mario Götze to manufacture a fantastic chest and volley combo and slot it in the net past the outstretched Romero's glove. An amazing goal from the team of the tournament fully justifying all their efforts. The Celebrations were ecstatic as Götze sent his team in to Dream land. Meanwhile the Argentinians were doing their Fruit n Nut!
It just left another seventeen minutes for the Germans to take a few kickings and ride out a few chances from the opposition, the best of which must surely have fallen to Palacio (he with the ridiculous rat's tail) as he lobbed it over Neuer only to see it go wide of the upright. Soon after the final whistle came and it was all over, Germany were once again World Champions and rightly so, they had the best team not just one or two superstars.
After the euphoria had died down slightly it was time for the FIFA presentation ceremony. Boos rung out around the stadium as Sepp Blatter was introduced. First up was Manuel Neuer to collect the Golden Glove award, a prize that looked like it had been donated by Michael Jackson, for being the best goalie of the tournament. This was a hotly contested award and this must have been the best WC for keepers I can remember. Next up was Lionel Messi for the Golden Ball, probably donated by David Beckham, for being the player of the tournament, if you ever want to know what the definition of disappointment was in the dictionary. you'd see a picture of Messi's face. Not since Hugh Grant got arrested for that naughty misdemeanour did someone look this p*ssed off! The third prize was the Golden Boot and this went to James Rodrigues from Colombia for scoring six goals (one in every game), but he wasn't there so I'm sure they will leave it in lost property for him to pick up next time he's in Rio. Apparently there was one final prize presented behind closed doors and that was the Golden Tooth Award which was given to Luis Suarez for his contributions to the dental industry!
Finally it was medal time. Up go the Argies (including Messi who had only just come down) to get their losers' medals. Maybe they should have said to them, "Smile, or you don't get anything" to miserable looking boys in blue. Don't cry Argentina... you'll Götze get over it!
After they were out the way we could start more joyful celebrations. Up bowled the Germans to collect their winners' medals and as Captain Philip Lahm was handed the World Cup trophy it sent the German fans to the Milky Way and back. Suddenly about five hundred photographers just appeared from nowhere to beam the images all around the world. This ended their twenty four year wait since they last won it in 1990 - thanks in part to Stuart Pearce and Chrissy Waddle. This is the first since being a unified nation and the first time in which a substitute has scored the winning goal in a World Cup final.
And so to the Footcall league...
Before the match started, Stuart Acott was sitting at the top of the league by a solitary point. Little did he know that the Matt Clark in second also had picked Argentina to win. As the result came in, Stuart's worst fears were realised and it wasn't Matt leapfrogging him, nor was it Dan Wilks or Richard Goodwin but we have a new leader and winner of Footcall 2014 and that was, Amaia Borges Clark.
Amaia is the daughter of Matt (who dropped to 6th) and she has become the 9th Footcall champion, not only that she is the youngest winner we've ever had, following on from Nathaniel Ridley who won two years ago at just four years old, well Amaia is only 10 months and 23 days! What an achievement for such a young Footcaller, you can see our Facebook page for a picture of her happy little face. If we carry on like this I reckon the winner of Footcall 2016 will be nothing more than the twinkle in someone's eye!
The German victory shook the top of the table good and proper. The massive eight points for picking Germany to win saw players make great strides up the table and also in the Hall of Fame. Amaia's win sees her pick up 10 HoF points and she is now joint 11th in the table.
Thomas Baus rocketed in to second, pretty good for his first Footcall, he also gets 9 HoF points. Seasoned campaigner, Jack Wakefield has yet again turned in a good performance to finish third and collects 8 HoF points which sees him in third place on the all time list of Footcallers. Stuart drops to fourth but up into fifth from I don't know where (well Essex actually) is David Ginger just proving the Gingers do know their football, I'm sure he's going to love showing his mum his eighty quid prize fund. Matt finished 6th, then Kane (yo Broady check me out) Vanns finished 7th. Mike (Mike FC) Davies bobbed up into 8th whilst Dan Wilks dropped to 9th. Barry Smith secured 10th as halfway leader Richard Goodwin ended up in 11th. The final money spot was goes to Alex Smith, who I assume is a big Kilmarnock fan, as he finished in 12th. Sadly the very consistent Paul Firmston finished in 13th just outside of the money bracket but only on the number of points scored in the KO section.
So the full run down of prizes go to...
Group Stages
1st: £100 - Richard Goodwin
Joint 2nd: £43 each - Robert Pritchard, Matt Clark and Thomas Baus
Joint 5th: £15 each - Stuart Acott and Dan Schroeck
Knockout Stages
1st: £400 & Title: Footcall Champion 2014 - Amaia Borges Clark
2nd: £170 - Thomas Baus
3rd: £100 - Jack Wakefield
4th: £90 - Stuart Acott
5th: £80 - David Ginger
6th: £70 - Matt Clark
7th: £60 - Kane Vanns
8th: £50 - Mike Davies
9th: £40 - Dan Wilks
10th: £30 - Barry Smith
11th: £20 - Richard Goodwin
12th: £10 - Alex Smith
Vuvuzela Award: £10 - Lauren Morris
Favourite Team Name Award: £10 - Rachel Rowland
BREAKING NEWS...
In a Footcall Board EGM held not five minutes ago, a change in the rules has been made! The purpose of the Divisions is to offer a prize to more players than those already being rewarded. So it was decided that the Division Winners awards were to be given to players who had NOT won any prize money in the big league.
So the 10 Division Winners who will receive Free Entry to Footcall 2016 are...
Azteca - Paul Firmston
Brazuca - Dave Billington
Etrusco - Andrew Brunt
Fevernova - Gemma Simms
Jabulani - Sean Broad
Questra - Harry Whitehouse
Tango - Darryl Farmer and John Fox
Teamgeist - Mark Paver
Telstar - Keith Firmston
Tricolore - Nick Stacey
If you are inline for any Footcall prize money then please get in touch so we can arrange the best way of getting the money to you.
I think that just about sums it up, everything corner analysed, every foul disputed, every goal applauded, every save marvelled and every haircut chuckled at! Like Roy Hodgson, I shall be taking some time off to assess my future and hopefully the Footcall Chairman will come out in support of me for another return. That's it over for another four years, well not quite, we'll be back for Euro 2016 for the tenth edition of Footcall - Fantastic, football fun!
I'm going to award my player of the tournament to the Brazuca. Yep, the new super spherical ball has been the star of the show for me and has provided us with the best World Cup we've seen since the Tango. Maybe FIFA did get something right after all but I'm not so sure I'd be forking out 150 notes for one!
Thanks for playing, it's been emotional.
David
It's perhaps fitting to play out with a song, and I can think of nothing better than this one...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q87TmUmVg0Y&feature=youtu.be
10/07/14 03:05
Day 22 in the Footcall house...
The day after the night before (brace yourselves folks there could be a gratuitous amount of puns in this report), what can I say after last night's German Lord Mayor's Show, this performance was most definitely in need of a little blue pill to get this semi motivated! What a difference a day makes in the World Cup schedule, the ink was barely dry from the column inches written (mostly by me) about how wonderfully Germany dismantled the Brazilians and us pundits wanted to see how The Netherlands got on against Argentina. Well that's just fish n' chip paper now and the true Footcallers were waiting in pensive anticipation to see how two of the players of the tournament, Robben and Messi were going to stack up against each other, surely it would never be as good as last night?
Well in word; No!
It was about as far from being a comparable as Blackpool is to Las Vegas! That's not to say that, like Blackpool, this match wasn't without a certain charm or quality. Mr Messi had a free kick in the first half saved by keeper Cillessen and fast forward 91 minutes of pretty dull stalemate footy and Robben could have sealed it for Holland as he broke through into the box. Not for the first time in the game was the Dutch attack snuffed out by Mascherano who was arguably the man of the match despite being momentarily knocked out in a head to head collision.
Into extra time loomed (just what we needed) and this game was really proving to be one for the purists. Last night I couldn't keep up with the texting as the Wagon Wheels fell off the Brazilians, twenty-four hours later my O2 daily text quota was, just like the Argentinian goal mouth, never under threat! However Higuain went close for the Argies although I might have been dozing through that, I probably even dreamt it. Fortunately I had a supply of Stroopwafels to keep me going in support of Holland but couldn't source any Argentinian confectionary so I just opted for a Tunnock's Tea Cake. Time was running out and as much as I'd like to say it was a game of two halves it felt like one long never ending episode of Triangle! I certainly never remember Jossy's Giants being this boring.
If you had told me there would be eight goals in the two semi-finals I would have got all excited at the prospect of a thrilling two all draw and a maybe an exciting three one. Little did we know all the goals would come in the one effing match. So if you were still awake, it was crystal meth time once again... penalties (or pen-arl-tees, if you're Fabio Cannavaro) and this time van Gaal had blown all his subs on outfield players so poor ol Timmy Krul had to sit on the bench and watch Cillessen man the barricades. This really could go either way and neither team had really done enough to deserve the place in the final.
Any football manager will tell you, the first rule of spot kicks is get your goals in first and put the pressure on your opponents. Well van Gaal likes to do things his own way as he sent up right back Ron Vlaar. Maybe now was the time for a hero once more and yet again but that was not the man in orange but the be-gloved man between the posts, namely, Sergio Romero. The Argentinian keeper saved the first penalty (it wasn't that good if we're being honest) and the pendulum of pressure swung the way of the blue and white stripes.
The Argie manager did not Messi about as he put his captain up front to enforce their dominance. A lovely strike made the net bulge for the first time in the match and we were underway. Next up was Arjen Robben, unquestionably the Dutch player of the tournament, who looked cooler than a Jaffa Cake in the chiller cabinet as he slotted it left footed in the right hand corner from the shortest run up since Socrates for Brazil '82. Garay put the Argies two one up with net buster and then Wesley Sneijder failed at the hands of Romero - I think Wesley Snipes could have made a better effort!
Now the Dutch were really under the gun and this was compounded as Aguero made it three one. Dirk Kuyt got one back from Holland and as Cillessen looked longingly at his helpless colleague on the bench, Maxi Rodriguez stepped up to put the tin lid on it. The keeper got his gloves on it but just wasn't strong enough to stop it slipping through.
Queue the Argentinian celebrations, Romero was the rock and he certainly played a lot better in yellow shirt than anyone did last night. Now they set up a rematch of the 1990 final (a real shocker if my memory serves me right) against their old adversaries, Germany. Let's hope it reflects the dynamism of the former semi not the latter.
I guess there is one thing to be thankful for, this match wasn't on BBC. If it had been, we would have had to endure Phil Neville's sparkling commentary for 130 minutes and I think I may have slipped into a coma!
And so to the Footcall league...
Stuart Acott has kept his clean sweep going and still leads Matt Clark by a solitary point. Dan Wilks is hanging in there as too is Amaia Borges Clark (Matt's daughter in case you were wondering). Richard Goodwin has bobbed back up again and Jack (the Beast) Wakefield and David (I told my Mum I'd be good at football one day) Ginger are in the money bracket.
Mark Paver has just appeared from outta nowhere as too has Mike (Footcall noob) Davies. John (hey Neil I'm in 19th) Dawson, Gary Thorp, Alex Smith and Paul (yes it's about time I had a mention) Firmston have all performed impressively over the semis. Rachel (I'm off on holiday don't you know) Rowland has not dropped a single point in the KO Stages nor has Harry (yo Daz, where is you at?) Whitehouse, Andy Booth, Keith (wasn't I in 182nd two weeks ago) Reynolds and Tony (I still believe, just not sure what in) Gardner.
Now we have the pointless third place playoff where Brazil will face Holland, maybe FIFA will make it an under 11s match with rush goalie? Even in Footcall terms this is literally pointless as there is nothing riding on it.
The big one is just left for us to savour on Sunday night, the final. It's worth a whopping eight Footcall league points and it will decide our winner for 2014, can Stuart hang on to the top spot, don't ask me, I can't bear to look!
Until Sunday,
David
09/07/14 02:27
Day 21 in the Footcall house...
SHIT! Just where do I start this report?
Today began like any other day, I did some in depth analysis of the Footcall league trends and the correlation with the FTSE, followed by a Q&A session with under-privileged kids who live in a hard water area (I'm campaigning for a giant Brita water filter to be installed in their town square) then I finished off with a couple of TV interviews about the semi-final between host nation Brazil against and the European fortress that is Germany.
After a lavish meal with a few fellow Footcall dignitaries (Mrs J and the cats) we settled down to watch the kickoff. Now the Quarter Finals lacked a certain zest in comparison to many of the Group Stages matches so we were hoping this would reignite the blue touch paper of this World Cup, but with a place in the final beckoning, who knows what was going to happen. The first part of any Brazilian match is the now legendary national anthem sing-a-long, you know the drill, the music plays, the music stops but everyone carries on singing, some of them even start crying. This time it was particularly heart felt as the Brazilian team held up the number 10 shirt of their fallen hero, Neymar who was convalescing in some rehab clinic. There was a strong rumour going round that he and German comedian Henning Wehn were going to do the Sky Sports FanZone!
Now I'll be totally honest, with all the palm pressing and charadee work I had done earlier, I was fairly worn out and the opening exchanges as the Germans sized up their opposition didn't help my temporary attention deficit disorder. Well I was soon snapped out of my slumber as Thomas "The Hit Man" Muller cropped up in acres of space at the back post to put the Europeans one up on the 11th minute. Suddenly my texting communicator lit up, it was Neil "I told you this was going to happen" White to say... "Germany could piss this!"
Well never a truer word written my friend as the German domination started to look menacing. Not only were the golden shirts missing their golden boy they were also without their Captain, Thiago Silva who was ruled out of this match for pointless yellow cards in previous matches. It seemed that despite all the hype and the waves of national support, maybe they were just biding their time before they had their shorts pulled down and botties spanked. The home crowd attendance in Belo Horizonte must have out weighed the Germans by 57,837 to 304 but they soon knew how to silence them... GOALS - lots of them!
It was barely past the mid point of the first half when Miroslav Klose came up smelling of Roses to tuck away Germany's second. This was an historic occasion, as this was Klose's 16th World Cup goal and he is now the outright all time goal scorer on the world stage. Not only that he achieved this over four cups which is also a record and who's to say he won't be back in 2018 to add to that tally at the ripe old age of 40. Teddy Sheringham was still knocking em in his forties so who's to say Miro won't be up for it. One interesting fact about all these goals is that the furthest out he ever was from goal was 12 yards and that was a penalty and most of them came from inside the six yard area. This Keeper has scored a longer goal than all of Klose's put together... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VEHJGbG8uBU
Now the German's were two up and cruising, it seemed like whatever Brazil tried, Germany had an answer for it. The formation of the team was beginning to crumble right before our eyes and David Luiz, trying not to look too much like Krusty the Clown was beTwixt and between the defence and midfield and not looking after either. At this stage Brazil were not out of it but they were certainly rudderless and what was to about happen over the next six minutes was the stuff of the Footcall archives. One minute after Klose's goal, Germany put the hammer down and Toni Kroos cruised in to put his nation three up on 24 minutes, just two minutes later Kroos added to the embarrassment to make it four nil. My fingers could barely keep up with the texting and the Facebook posts. Before I could draw breath Khedira just appeared like Fingerbobs to make it five on the 29th minute. That was one goal for every one of those little stars above the Brazilian flag on their shirts. The goals were going in so rapidly I nearly choked on my Toffifee! Half time could not come soon enough for the South Americans and I'm sure more than one or two fans decided to enough was enough and naffed off home - I'm sure it wasn't far to walk.
Back to the studio to a stunned looking Lineker with an even more shocked Hansen and Shearer who were looking somewhat sheepish after backing Brazil before the match started. Meanwhile Rio "I've caught the sun" Ferdinand tried to stifle his smugly smug face as he had plumped for ze Germans! I'm gonna write to the BBC and ask if I can be a pundit on the next big tournament, it surely must be THE easiest job in the whole world?
The second half started and it was clear that Big Phil had given them the hairdryer treatment in the dressing room, it was reported that he even showed them a highlight reel of the Liverpool 2005 European Cup Final. Maybe Scolari had slipped something in their half time cuppa as they certainly started with more vigour, and I thought Pele was the only Brazilian who had problems with a semi! The German manager Low took Klose off which must have been a relief for Brazil until they saw it was Schurrle who came on - yet another goal machine and don't forget they still had Lukas Podolski sitting on the bench and we haven't even seen him yet. Meanwhile Scolari took Fred off but he only brought on Willian who proved to be no better than Barney. He would have been off better putting on Wilma? I'm sure Phil was wondering just what clinic Neymar was in and maybe he could get him on so he could ping one in from the frame of his wheelchair!
Whatever hopes Brazil had of coming back from the dead were totally dashed as super sub Schurrle made it half a dozen in the 69th then to add insult to injury he netted the goal of the game on the 79th minute as he powered in off the crossbar. Seven nil; nobody could believe it and it was obvious what drink would be sponsoring the German team next year. The Brazilian players and fans were utterly humiliated but just as Germany were about to declare, a slight lapse of concentration let Brazil get a consolation goal on the 90th minute from Oscar (I'm sure that will keep him in the team until the next World Cup). The Germans were furious and it reminded me of when England destroyed the Dutch in the Euro 96 only to let a goal in at the last minute.
It's fair to say we have never seen the likes of this, a footballing super nation being completely dismantled, this wasn't a team of plumbers from Andorra or San Marino, this was Brazil and even Oscar Pistorius had a better defence than the team we saw tonight AND he got more shots on target!
Despite there being loads of additional time to allow for Julio Cesar getting the ball out of his own net it finally finished...
Bra: 1 Ger: Many
Then the German celebrations could begin in earnest as they had broken their run of consecutive of semi-final failures and they now find themselves in the final again having beaten the nation that thwarted them in 2002. Now they need to close the deal and put to bed the 24 years of hurt (us English can only dream of stats like theirs) and win the final on Sunday.
Tomorrow (or should I say later today), we will know the other finalist as Holland fight it out with Argentina in the second semi. One thing that seems to be overlooked is we have the third place play off match on Saturday, how on earth will Brazil be able to pick themselves up for that?
And so to the Footcall league...
Students of the league table knew these semi-final matches were going to be pivotal to the hierarchy and lo and behold we have a new leader. Stuart Acott has raced into to the top spot as tonight's result scored him a sweet little four points. Matt Clark has nuzzled up behind him with Thomas Baus and Dan Wilks just a further point back. This is really exciting as the Footcall trophy is still wide open and this just adds to the drama on the field. Sadly Richard Goodwin and Dan Schroeck have slipped a little but who knows they might not be out of it just yet.
Suddenly Harry Hitch, Kane Vanns, Andy Brunt, Jack Wakefield and Barry Smith are all there or there-a-bouts. Quite a few others further down the table might be eyeing up the money spots with another four pointer available tonight and then the big kingsize eight pointer for picking the winner on Sunday night.
Good luck everyone.
David
06/07/14 02:27
Day 20 in the Footcall house...
After the exhaustion of discovering I wasn't to be the Vuvuzela Award winner, thankfully FIFA gave us a couple of days off before the Quarter Finals started. As it happened I got the opportunity to photograph some of the acts at the Hop Farm Festival and so I didn't watch the Germany France match live but I had my Footcall back room staff feeding me live updates of how it unfolded. France had an early chance with a Benzema free kick but it was the rock solid centre back Mats Hummels who put Germany one up with a nicely clipped header. The French pushed for an equaliser but came up short and the Germans are past masters at keeping the lead, they certainly performed much more competently than they did against Algeria. Finally it finished one nil and Germany were through to a record breaking fourth World Cup semi-final in a row.
You'll be pleased to know that I forewent the performances of Echo & The Bunnymen and Ray Davies to get back and watch Brazil take on Colombia in the second Quarter Final. By all accounts with what has gone before, this was set to be a corker with a Bounty of goals with the likes of Neymar and James Rodriguez on either side. Well it didn't take long for this match to ignite as on the seventh minute Captain Thiago Silva found himself unmarked at the back stick from a Neymar corner. Juan Cuadrado went mighty close at the other end. Soon after that Brazil had two golden opportunities to put the match out of sight were it not for the wonders of the keeper, Ospina - how many times have we said that this tournament? The atmosphere in the ground was electric and Hulk went close and soon after the Captain Silva didn't set a good example as he tackled the keeper whilst he was attempting to kick the ball upfield, the silly little boy got himself booked and would miss the next match should they win. In the second half Colombia had a scrambled goal disallowed for being offside and their heartache was compounded moments later when Chelsea boy David Luiz (you know the one with the crazy hair) scored a stonking free kick with the instep of his boot, I think even the great Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink would have been proud of that. I still maintain that Ospina would have given himself a better chance of saving it if he didn't have the wall in his way obscuring the view - but hey, don't get me started on that now!
Now it was two nil and the Colombian were right up against it. In the 80th minute they were given a lifeline as they were awarded a penalty and the boy wonder James (or is it Hames) Rodriguez stepped up to make it five in five. What was bizarre about this penalty was not the fact that he was putting himself in line for the Golden Boot but the canny cameraman had noticed there was a grasshopper clinging to the sleeve of James' shirt as he took the pen. Now these little green critters in the UK are about the size of matchstick but this one was the size of walking stick! It was effing huge, so big in fact it looked one you might have bought as a kid from the joke shop to scare your mates. It really didn't look real but as the Colombian team celebrated we were left open jawed at how a grasshopper can not only get a full size football under it's arm but also carry it all the way back to the centre spot!
Sadly time was running out but in the competitive spirit of the game Juan Zuniga went up for a challenge that saw him come down and plant his knee right in the back of Neymar. The Brazilian hero went down like a sack of Ferrero Rocher and lay face down motionless. Now we know when players are faking an injury and this time we could see he was in real pain. The stretcher men came out and carted him off the field and was rushed to hospital with a fractured vertebra. Not long after the full time whistle blew and the Brazilian dream continued but for Neymar the World Cup is over time will tell if a new hero can step forward into the limelight. If Oscar fancies putting in an Oscar winning performance, now's the time to step up. There were two world class stars on the field, one in red (James), one in yellow (Neymar), the sad fact is both of them will return home today in tears!
The third Quarter Final saw Messi and co return to see if they too could overturn the Belgians. Well the set their stall out early doors as Higuain turned on a Dime to tuck the ball in the bottom left corner. They were one nil up and cruising and fortunately they were up against a decidedly out of sorts Belgium. This wasn't the best match of the tournament and all the best opportunities went the way of the South Americans. Higuain nearly put his nation two up when he beat the offside trap lifted the ball over the keeper only to see it glance off the top of the crossbar. Mr Messi (not the one by Roger Hargreaves) went one on one with the keeper but the man in the gloves stopped him from making it three. Whilst Argentina were not setting the world alight, Belgium deserved to lose so the right result for the Cup and the fans in the end.
Finally we saw Holland play Costa Rica in the last of the Quarter Final duels. The quality of this match was far better than any of the other three games. The first half was packed with drama at both ends with more of the opportunities falling for the Orange Army. Time and again one man kept the match alive, that man was the Costa Rican keeper Keylor Navas. Having been the hero in the penalty shoot out against the Greeks he was donning the cape one more time and save after save came from his gloves. Astonishingly the first half finished goalless but what was even more amazing was the second half did as well. Into extra time we went and it was really compelling to watch. The 120th minute approached and still we the score sheet was blank. Then Louis van Gaal the Dutch manager did something we'd never seen before, he substituted his keeper, Jasper Cillessen for Newcastle's Tim Krul (pronounced Cruel). Now you have to balls like a set of Baci to have the nerve to bring on the sub keeper but that's exactly what he did. Penalty takers we've seen but not a new keeper. Well the final whistle went and it was indeed crystal meth time again, the dreaded penalty shootout. Was van Gaal's gamble going to pay off? Or was superstar Navas going to carry on where he left it in normal time?
The first Costa Rican penalty was scored by Borges which wasn't to the Dutch plan. Fortunately RVP levelled it and then we clearly saw Krul have a little word with Bryan Ruiz, who knows what was said but the crafty Dutchman saved it and gave them the advantage. Goals from both sides were converted and then Tricky Timmy started pacing about and wandering out of the penalty area to deliberately unsettle the penalty taker. His devious tactics worked as when it came to the decisive shot Krul saved from a fairly weak penalty by Umana. The Holland team screamed with joy and all ran over to congratulate Krul's efforts and it's clear that the Manager had put him on for the shootout just because he's more mouthy than Cillessen. Poor Costa Rica and poor old Navas commiserated, they were distraught but the Netherlands were delighted.
And so the Footcall league...
Once again all the favourites on paper have qualified for the Semi Finals and once again all the Footcall front runners had picked them so we are now getting down to the business end of the competition. There is still so much to play for and depending on who they have picked to win will potentially determine the winner. But who will rise up from the chasing peloton?
Thomas Baus may have slipped a little today as Harry Hitch, Tim Jennings, Nick Rowland, Darryl Farmer and Dan Wilks all put in a solid performance over the Quarter Finals.
These next two matches are worth 4 points each so let's see what that's going to do to the state of play, if I was Richard Goodwin right now, I'd be praying at the alter of Jules Rimet that the next matches go my way. I promise not to text you during a game as that will be a certain kiss of death for your chances!
This World Cup is one of the best we've ever seen and this Footcall is likewise, the next game is on Tuesday so we are just going to have to wait and see the next chapter is going to be.
Over and out.
David
02/07/14 02:58
Day 19 in the Footcall house...
Quick confession here, I've been so long in the Footcall house, I had to double check what day we were on - I'm sure someone is going to come and let me out sooner or later! To be honest, I'm not that worried, it's been the most amazing tournament so far and I've got enough Adnams, Pringles and M&Ms to see me right through to the final :-)
Well today saw the last of the Second Round matches and there was indeed a lot riding on it, I was 0/6 for all the games to date and I just needed to pick the losers of today's encounters to make it a clean sweep; never have I wanted to finish last so badly!
First up was one of the tournament favourites, Argentina as they took on the Swiss, surely we were going to be treated to a bobby dazzler of a show from Messrs Messi, Higuain, Di Maria and co? Well to say this is was a damp squib of a show might be a slight exaggeration, but when have I ever let the facts get in the way of a good story? Switzerland knew they were the underdogs and they also knew they had to keep a lid on Lionel because Argentina just aren't the same without him on form. Both sides had chances in the first half and Drmic went one on one with Romero but was left wanting when it came to final kick. In the second half Higuain went close with a header and Messi had a speculative shot from outside the area. Soon after he threaded one through the legs of the Swiss defence like it was full of holes but the keeper was up to the task. As the game wore on, Switzerland started to defend proper deep, it was like me and my mate Darren on the badders court, nobody was gonna get past them! The full time whistle went and it was still goalless.
In Extra Time more Argentinian pressure was applied, Di Maria who had a mare of a game, tried to the most ridiculous cross where he put one leg behind the other only to slice the ball wildly out of play. What a time to showboat, they weren't four nil up, it was still nil nil. Maybe he'd seen Nick Kyrgios pull off the perfect hotdog at Wimbledon today (https://vine.co/v/MFYql2hhT56) and fancied a go himself, well it was an epic fail. Time was running out and it was looking more and more like penalties again which is surely what the Swiss were haggling for. In the 118th minute Argentina called directory services and asked if they could have a goalscorer sent down immediately. Well their prayers were answered as Messi went on one of his jinky runs through the Swiss defence to set up the hapless Di Maria to slot it into the net and make amends for all his spurned opportunities from before. Now the blue and whites were one up you'd think they'd play out time comfortably but the Swiss had a last ditch attempt to score as Dzemaili headed the perfect header down towards the Argentinian net only to see it ping back off the post, hit him on the shin and go out of play! Moments later the full time whistle blew and it was all over, Argentina were through but like others before them, they too can count themselves lucky.
The evening match was likely to be a more even match up as USA (always full of strength) faced Belgium (always full of mussels). Within 45 seconds of the kickoff this game was already better than the earlier match as Belgium went unbelievably close when Origi tested Tim Howard early doors. Little did we know that the die was being cast for some of the most heroic goalkeeping we've ever seen in the World Cup. This game was electric, full of pace from both sides, Dempsey went close in the first half but it ultimately finished nil nil.
After the break USA were unlucky as Wondolowski was in on goal but was given offside when he was clearly on by at least a yard. Both keepers were earning their half time KitKats as they kept their sheets clean and the hearts of their nations pulsating. Astonishingly it finished nil nil but this was so much better than the Argie game and it was just about to get better. Belgium brought on Romelu Lukaku who instantly made an impression and within three minutes of Extra Time he set up Kevin de Bruyne to calmly pass the ball into the bottom left corner. Time and again Tim Howard was making save after save to give the Americans a sliver of hope to get back in it. Soon after however de Bruyne repaid the favour as he set up that man Lukaku who doubled their lead with a marvellous finish. It looked all over at this point and now the US had to bring on the cavalry to at least give themselves a chance of going to pens.
Well now it was time for the American sub, Julian Green to steal some limelight as he had a Marvellous Creation of his own to leap athletically at a Bradley floater and toe poke it mid air into the Belgians net, they were right back in it. There was still 13 minutes left on the clock USA went for it big time even throwing the proverbial frites pan at the Belgium team as wave after wave they waded in to the box. The US defence were pushed so far up the field it left poor Timmy to man the barricades backstage but what a job he did, he made a record breaking 15 (yes 15) saves, he was so good in fact, I reckon he could have blocked himself on Facebook! He was like... https://vine.co/v/MFLHdrOMAOF
With almost the last attack of the game America won a free kick directly in front of goal. They deceptively yet creatively adopted a well worked training ground move as they passed the ball between the Belgians leaving them totally flummoxed, it was probably the sneakiest free kick I'd seen since Tomas Brolin for Sweden in 94. The only difference was Yedlin couldn't convert their chance and sadly for the unlucky yet plucky Yanks it finished 2-1 and they were on the next bus home up north. Yet again the favourites were through but yet again they were lucky.
And so to the Footcall league...
After the late night drama had unfolded, the Footcall board gathered as soon as the last match was over to make the first Footcall prize of 2014 - the much coveted Vuvuzela Award given to the player who finishes bottom of the league.
I was there representing the Footcallers from all around the world, dressed in my tuxedo and bow tie, unfortunately my good school shoes were at the cobblers so I just went in my slippers - but that's cool; nobody noticed. Although I was there on behalf you lot, I also had a vested interest as I was currently residing in 181st place but also sitting on a clean sweep of losing predictions as I had guessed eight losing teams out of eight; surely the Vuvuzela was mine all mine?
The Chairman took to the stage alongside the Secretary who was brandishing the gleaming Vuvu to announce the winner (or loser depending on which way you look at it). The tension was more unbearable than watching USA trying to get an equaliser and I was sweating more that Rolf Harris in a prison cell. This was it, the moment I had been dreaming of for the past eight sleeps.
The manilla envelope opened, anxious glances flicked around the room (that didn't exactly happen, there was nobody else there - only me) I was trying to control my breathing, you really could cut the atmosphere with Suarez's front teeth...
I'm standing up...
I'm adjusting my bow tie...
I'm doing up my jacket...
I'm reaching for my pre-prepared speech...
This is it... my moment of glory...
"And the winner is...
Lauren Morris!"
What?
There must be some sort of mistake?
I was the loser surely?
I had eight out of bloody eight!
At this moment the Footcall League table flashed up on the big screen behind the stage. My worst fears were confirmed, Lauren (effing) Morris was indeed the Vuvuzela Award winner. I had banked on Lauren picking Holland to go one round further but her predictions revealed she had selected Greece and not the Dutch so therefore she was to be given the prize of being the best of all the losers.
I immediately stormed out and went to the bar to drown my sorrows where the barman (to rub even more salt into the wound) asked, "Bitter?" and I replied, "You don't even know the half of it Giorgos!"
I tell you something Footcallers... ten years ago I was the ONLY player to have selected Portugal to play Greece in the Euro 2004 final. The red hot favourites of Ronaldo and his comrades were (on paper - grrrrrr!) going destroy the Greeks and see me leapfrog eleven places to come from nowhere and win the Footcall trophy. Well the effing Greeks tragically thwarted my master plan then and it strike me, they have done me again! I might have to seriously speak to the present Mrs Jenner about our forthcoming holiday to Skiathos!
I must be Footcall's unluckiest player, I can't even finish last by choice. I'm sorry, but I'm just too distraught to mention anyone at the business end of the league. If I could tip over the league table and storm out at this moment, I bloomin' well would!
David (seriously pissed off) Jenner
:-((
(very sad face)
PS. Lauren if you are reading this, the Vuvuzela is available for you to collect whenever you like. Just call 1-800 Stitch Up and we can make the necessary arrangements.
01/07/14 01:51
Day 18 in the Footcall house...
What a tourney we are having! We've got goals galore (more than the whole of WC 2010), we've got crazy go nuts strikers and we've got heroic keepers in almost every match. Even when on paper (there it is again, for God's sake please tear up that bit of paper) it's looking like a dull all draw we get an epic contest when we weren't expecting it, we have our Lucky Stars to thank for that.
First up today France faced Nigeria to fight it out for a place in the Quarters. Sorry folks, the first was a dull all draw! Well it wasn't quite that bad, Emenike for Nigeria actually put the green shirts in front but it was ruled offside. Soon after Pogba tested Enyeama between the sticks but the Nigerian keeper was up to the task. The first half finished nil nil. The second half was much more of a spectacle. Yet again Enyeama was under pressure from no distance proving the monocle of best African keeper since Nelson Mandela played "goalie when" and was awarded player of the tournament in the Johannesburg five-a-side tournament! France however were starting to put the pressure on, Cabaye smashed it against the bar and finally it paid off as the effervescent Pogba headed it over the Nigerian defenders into the net. As the French ran down the clock a chance to nail the coffin shut presented itself in the 90th minute as the ball was crossed along the touch line to Griezmann to redirect it into the goal with the inside of his boot and make it two nil. A replay did actually show us that Joseph Yobo had the last touch and so it was changed to an own goal. Nigeria got their Snickers in a twist, France did a Twirl of joy!
Next up Germany took on Algeria in sixth second round match. Earlier in the week the veterans of the Algerian 1982 reported they were not bitter at how West Germany and Austria contrived to play out a draw to guarantee their place in the Knockout Stages and deny the North Africans. That was thirty odd years ago and Algeria were here now ready to play and they were right up for it too. Germany were without question one of the hot favourites to win this tournament but for some absurd reason they played a different formation with a back line defence very high up the field. Maybe they were worked about the Algerian front men and they thought they'd play like George Graham's Arsenal. It really didn't take long for this new technique to get caught out and as the ball come into the German half, all four defenders were virtually standing on the half way line. The Nigerian striker Slimani broke free but fortunately Germany's man in the gloves, Manuel Neuer had run about 40 yards to make a sliding tackle almost by the corner flag. Time and again throughout the match Neuer was covering more ground than the forwards, I'd like to have seen his pedometer for this match!
Just like the earlier game the first half finished goalless but this game was far more exciting and the Nigerian keeper Rais M'Bolhi was also throwing his cap into the ring for man of the match. It was end to end at times but they went to break nil all. So back to the studio where Adrian Chiles mulls over the missed opportunities with Messrs Hoddle, Strachan and Dixon. Then a potentially career threatening Freudian slip of the tongue from Glenn Hoddle prompting the whole nation to cry in unison, "What did he just say?" Well poor old Glenn mistakenly referred to Algeria as Al Jazeera! If you don't believe me, see for yourself... https://vine.co/v/MFUOqt00YTz
Fortunately Chiles was on hand to remind him that it was in fact Algeria we were watching. It's "situations" like this that caused Mr Hoddle to lose his job as the England Manager, doh! I guess we can count ourselves lucky he didn't say Al-Qaeda or we would have come back after the adverts to find Gus Poyet sitting in his chair!
After the break, the teams returned ready to imbue the match with excitement and vigour. And they did! The Germans attacked at one end and Neuer defended at the other. Loads of last ditch tackles and saves at either end and Thomas Muller could have sealed it if it was for that pesky M'Bolhi. The final whistle blew and it was still without a goal. Extra time kicked off and within 90 seconds of the restart Schurrle put the Germans on the map. Algeria pushed for an equaliser but it didn't come and then the Germans went two up from the boot of Mesut Ozil, who, to be fair, had a shocker until this point. We were now into the 120th minute, players were collapsing all around with cramp (I'm getting it now!) and a last ditch attempt saw a wonderful cross from the fantastic Brahimi saw Djabou power it in for the goal of the match. Sadly there was no more time left and once again 90% of Footcallers screamed "YES!" at their televisions as it finished...
Germany: 2
Al Shearer: 1
And so to the Footcall league...
Richard and the 53 players below him all chalked up another point. You have to look at 55th to see the first zero for this result. The fight for the Vuvuzela is hotting up at the other end. Let's take a little look at the Divisions shall we?
Richard is heading up Brazuca obviously, but maybe Kelly Sains' predictions might see her overtake him at some point soon?
Stuart Acott is just ahead of Andy Brunt and Harry Hitch in Etrusco, Dan Wilks has a narrow lead on David Wootton and Gemma Simms in Fevernova, Russell Morris is the man in command of Jabulani but only by a point from James Vallender and Jack Wakefield, in fact this is the closely contested division.
Thomas Baus is just one ahead of Matt Clark in Questra, Clive Gigney has some catching up to do. Young Kane Vanns leads division Tango but only by the fact he had one more Group Stages Point than the even younger Amaia Borges Clark.
Robert Pritchard and Dan Scroeck are going toe-to-toe in Teamgeist division with Tim Jennings hot on their heels.
Barry Smith (Footcall's least mentioned player) is top of Telstar but David Hitch is fighting it out with Nathaniel Ridley and Keith Firmston.
Finally, Neil (I don't believe it) Jefferis is top of Tricolore division whilst Jo Mackenzie, David Ginger and Sean Ellis might well give him a run for his money.
That'll do for today, another amazing contest, how on earth are the Argentinians gonna top this?
David