In the words of Chas and Dave... "Götze!"
14/07/14 02:31
Day Footcall 23 in the Footcall house...
This was it, the big one; THE FINAL!
For the past five weeks we have been treated to the greatest World Cup I can remember and the best Footcall to go with it. It now all boiled down to this one last game, this would decided if Argentina were to put a third star above their badge or whether the Germans were going to add a fourth?
Earlier in the day we had the announcement that Rachel Rowland had won the Favourite Team Name Award (or the FooTNA for short) with her team name "Murder on Zidane's Floor" which won by a comfortable five votes ahead of David Hitch's "Game of Throw-ins". Rachel has very generously donated her prize money to the Angus Rowland FMN fund.
Then we prepared ourselves with the onset of the final. The atmosphere in and around The Maracana in Rio was more tasty than a packet of Spangles most of which was made up of Argentinians and Brazilians just wearing their neighbours' shirts! it was obvious that a genuine Messi shirt was hard to come by and I'm sure I saw one or two home made ones where somebody had creatively made use of a can of light blue Panda car paint and a picket fence. This reminded me of my first Arsenal kit, nothing matched and cos I wanted to play in goal, rather than buying me a proper green Pat Jennings shirt my Mum just sewed a big number one on the back. I wouldn't have minded if she hadn't have done it in black cotton, I looked a proper nana!
So let's go over to the studio to get the pundit's view (the easiest job in the world), Lineker introduced Hansen who was there for the last time as he so spectacularly got his prediction of Brazil to win the semi-final wrong he realised he's been taking the p*ss out of the BBC for all these years. So Alan who are you going for? Argentina, Gary. Probably a good thing this is your last gig then Al.
Meanwhile Alan number two is sitting alongside looking like he's just about to go to jury service, he's got the same suit on as Alan number one and Gary. Did they get a three for two at George at Asda? Well Al number two was thinking, "just get this show out of the way and I'll be the top Alan around here now, nobody will mess with me then!" Of course what he doesn't know is that Hansen has done a swapsie with TalkSport's Brazil so it looks like Mr Shearer might have to wait a little longer before he becomes top Al. Whilst I'm thinking of Paul Simon song puns the camera pans round to our final pundit...
Oh Rio (or should I say Oreo?) what the hell are you wearing? Adorned in a navy blue blazer (double-breasted I might add) and a bright orange tie, he looked like he had a job on EasyJet flight on his way home... "Your emergency exits are here, here and here!"
So let's get to the match. We were told straight off that Khedira was out of the side having picked up an injury in the warm up session only minutes before the match was about to start, what was he doing, trying to kick his height?
It kicked off well and both teams looked up for it, right from the start you could see both teams meant business and there was plenty of quality all over the park. The first chance went early on to the Argies as Higuain missed a gem of an opportunity when Kroos was headed back towards his own goal but the striker who found himself one on one with the keeper pulled his shot woefully wide not even troubling Manuel Neuer. Who was sponsoring Higuain's boots - Toblerone?
The bearded front man did find the goal soon after but it was ruled offside. It's always funny seeing just how long it takes for the scorer to notice the linesman's flag as he does a lap of the pitch in celebration. It didn't take long for Germany to craft an opening and Thomas Muller tested the Butterfingers of Romero but the keeper was up to the task. Both teams were cancelling each other out but it was far from a boring game and how Howedes didn't score from a headed corner was beyond just about everyone, he nutted it against the post and it shook the frame until the half time whistle went.
It was a competitive match and as we neared full time some Crunch tackles came in. Earlier in the game Kramer who was in for Khedira took a whump to the head and had to be subbed. A German substitution is like Brucie turning over an Ace in Play Your Cards Right, they always bring on a better player and this time it was Andre Schurrle. Meanwhile Schweinsteiger was going down like a set of Skittles time and again throughout the match and was really having to earn his half time Mars bar. The first half finished nil nil and all this match needed was a moment of magic.
When we talk about magic we always look towards one man, Lionel Messi. Well his chance came soon into the second half as he dazzled us once more with his tiny toes, sometimes he looks like he's riding on a Segway! He was in on goal but sadly for him and all of South America he stuck it wide. It looked like he was being kept out of the game just like in the semis. I know a lot of Footcallers in contention had Argentina to win including Stuart Acott and Matt Clark who were in the top two spots in the league table. Matt had texted me to say that the tension was becoming too hard to bear. I pointed out that if he wanted to turn over Titanic was on Channel 4, his reply was swift, "I don't know if I'll see more people going down on the pitch or in the film!" In the 88th minute Mario Götze was brought on for the all time World Cup goal scoring hero, Miroslav Klose, who realised he'd not set the video for the new series of Cash In The Attic.
The agony for said Footcallers was going to be prolonged another thirty minutes as full time came and it was still goalless. We put this down to class defending and I think we were just hoping a decisive moment of class in the attacking third would prevent this going to the inevitable penalties. Well we were put out of our misery as Schurrle crossed a sweet little ball for Super Mario Götze to manufacture a fantastic chest and volley combo and slot it in the net past the outstretched Romero's glove. An amazing goal from the team of the tournament fully justifying all their efforts. The Celebrations were ecstatic as Götze sent his team in to Dream land. Meanwhile the Argentinians were doing their Fruit n Nut!
It just left another seventeen minutes for the Germans to take a few kickings and ride out a few chances from the opposition, the best of which must surely have fallen to Palacio (he with the ridiculous rat's tail) as he lobbed it over Neuer only to see it go wide of the upright. Soon after the final whistle came and it was all over, Germany were once again World Champions and rightly so, they had the best team not just one or two superstars.
After the euphoria had died down slightly it was time for the FIFA presentation ceremony. Boos rung out around the stadium as Sepp Blatter was introduced. First up was Manuel Neuer to collect the Golden Glove award, a prize that looked like it had been donated by Michael Jackson, for being the best goalie of the tournament. This was a hotly contested award and this must have been the best WC for keepers I can remember. Next up was Lionel Messi for the Golden Ball, probably donated by David Beckham, for being the player of the tournament, if you ever want to know what the definition of disappointment was in the dictionary. you'd see a picture of Messi's face. Not since Hugh Grant got arrested for that naughty misdemeanour did someone look this p*ssed off! The third prize was the Golden Boot and this went to James Rodrigues from Colombia for scoring six goals (one in every game), but he wasn't there so I'm sure they will leave it in lost property for him to pick up next time he's in Rio. Apparently there was one final prize presented behind closed doors and that was the Golden Tooth Award which was given to Luis Suarez for his contributions to the dental industry!
Finally it was medal time. Up go the Argies (including Messi who had only just come down) to get their losers' medals. Maybe they should have said to them, "Smile, or you don't get anything" to miserable looking boys in blue. Don't cry Argentina... you'll Götze get over it!
After they were out the way we could start more joyful celebrations. Up bowled the Germans to collect their winners' medals and as Captain Philip Lahm was handed the World Cup trophy it sent the German fans to the Milky Way and back. Suddenly about five hundred photographers just appeared from nowhere to beam the images all around the world. This ended their twenty four year wait since they last won it in 1990 - thanks in part to Stuart Pearce and Chrissy Waddle. This is the first since being a unified nation and the first time in which a substitute has scored the winning goal in a World Cup final.
And so to the Footcall league...
Before the match started, Stuart Acott was sitting at the top of the league by a solitary point. Little did he know that the Matt Clark in second also had picked Argentina to win. As the result came in, Stuart's worst fears were realised and it wasn't Matt leapfrogging him, nor was it Dan Wilks or Richard Goodwin but we have a new leader and winner of Footcall 2014 and that was, Amaia Borges Clark.
Amaia is the daughter of Matt (who dropped to 6th) and she has become the 9th Footcall champion, not only that she is the youngest winner we've ever had, following on from Nathaniel Ridley who won two years ago at just four years old, well Amaia is only 10 months and 23 days! What an achievement for such a young Footcaller, you can see our Facebook page for a picture of her happy little face. If we carry on like this I reckon the winner of Footcall 2016 will be nothing more than the twinkle in someone's eye!
The German victory shook the top of the table good and proper. The massive eight points for picking Germany to win saw players make great strides up the table and also in the Hall of Fame. Amaia's win sees her pick up 10 HoF points and she is now joint 11th in the table.
Thomas Baus rocketed in to second, pretty good for his first Footcall, he also gets 9 HoF points. Seasoned campaigner, Jack Wakefield has yet again turned in a good performance to finish third and collects 8 HoF points which sees him in third place on the all time list of Footcallers. Stuart drops to fourth but up into fifth from I don't know where (well Essex actually) is David Ginger just proving the Gingers do know their football, I'm sure he's going to love showing his mum his eighty quid prize fund. Matt finished 6th, then Kane (yo Broady check me out) Vanns finished 7th. Mike (Mike FC) Davies bobbed up into 8th whilst Dan Wilks dropped to 9th. Barry Smith secured 10th as halfway leader Richard Goodwin ended up in 11th. The final money spot was goes to Alex Smith, who I assume is a big Kilmarnock fan, as he finished in 12th. Sadly the very consistent Paul Firmston finished in 13th just outside of the money bracket but only on the number of points scored in the KO section.
So the full run down of prizes go to...
Group Stages
1st: £100 - Richard Goodwin
Joint 2nd: £43 each - Robert Pritchard, Matt Clark and Thomas Baus
Joint 5th: £15 each - Stuart Acott and Dan Schroeck
Knockout Stages
1st: £400 & Title: Footcall Champion 2014 - Amaia Borges Clark
2nd: £170 - Thomas Baus
3rd: £100 - Jack Wakefield
4th: £90 - Stuart Acott
5th: £80 - David Ginger
6th: £70 - Matt Clark
7th: £60 - Kane Vanns
8th: £50 - Mike Davies
9th: £40 - Dan Wilks
10th: £30 - Barry Smith
11th: £20 - Richard Goodwin
12th: £10 - Alex Smith
Vuvuzela Award: £10 - Lauren Morris
Favourite Team Name Award: £10 - Rachel Rowland
BREAKING NEWS...
In a Footcall Board EGM held not five minutes ago, a change in the rules has been made! The purpose of the Divisions is to offer a prize to more players than those already being rewarded. So it was decided that the Division Winners awards were to be given to players who had NOT won any prize money in the big league.
So the 10 Division Winners who will receive Free Entry to Footcall 2016 are...
Azteca - Paul Firmston
Brazuca - Dave Billington
Etrusco - Andrew Brunt
Fevernova - Gemma Simms
Jabulani - Sean Broad
Questra - Harry Whitehouse
Tango - Darryl Farmer and John Fox
Teamgeist - Mark Paver
Telstar - Keith Firmston
Tricolore - Nick Stacey
If you are inline for any Footcall prize money then please get in touch so we can arrange the best way of getting the money to you.
I think that just about sums it up, everything corner analysed, every foul disputed, every goal applauded, every save marvelled and every haircut chuckled at! Like Roy Hodgson, I shall be taking some time off to assess my future and hopefully the Footcall Chairman will come out in support of me for another return. That's it over for another four years, well not quite, we'll be back for Euro 2016 for the tenth edition of Footcall - Fantastic, football fun!
I'm going to award my player of the tournament to the Brazuca. Yep, the new super spherical ball has been the star of the show for me and has provided us with the best World Cup we've seen since the Tango. Maybe FIFA did get something right after all but I'm not so sure I'd be forking out 150 notes for one!
Thanks for playing, it's been emotional.
David
It's perhaps fitting to play out with a song, and I can think of nothing better than this one...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q87TmUmVg0Y&feature=youtu.be